1999 Twiglet Results

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THE GOLDEN TWIGLET & HALL OF FAME AWARD FOR BEST CONTESTANT

With Ryan out of the running as last year's winner, this was almost a one-horse race - congratulations to Colin! However, Wayne and Greg both had quite a last-minute comeback, and look set to battle it out for next years' award.

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THE REPLAY TWIGLET FOR BEST GAME

The variety and great 'quick lines' that it provides for makes SFAH the winner here. Hoedown also shows a marked improvement from its showing on 'worst game' last year.

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THE BARTENDER'S AWARD FOR BEST SONG

This was one FIERCE battle. The two Hoedowns, possibly a major contribution in the increased popularity of the game this year, were neck and neck all the way. In the end, only two votes separated them. Not to mention Ashley and Nuroshi, who also managed to end up exactly level! Though it does seem a shame that the classic days of Bartenders and Psychiatrists are almost a fading memory...

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THE COMPILATED TWIGLET FOR BEST INDIVIDUAL GAME

A fairly close race, but the baldness and neck jokes (plus that wonderful moment when Colin starts to get the hang of it) pull that Press Conference to the lead. Ryan's 'baby learning to walk' also works for the party quirks, and Paul's horse obsession has won the old Expert Translation a solid fourth place.

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THE "OH HA HA" TWIGLET FOR FUNNIEST MOMENT

A back-to-back win for Tony (1998/99). But hardly surprising given his wacky and intensive approach to guessing the party quirks! And his over-enthusiasm in Film Trailer also gives him a close 2nd place! Meanwhile, Dead Bodies kisses are always good for a laugh, Colin can react like nobody, and Ryan's taxidermist remains a greatly memorable moment.

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THE WHOSE TWIGLET FOR THE FUNNIEST LINE

A great joke from Ryan and Colin takes the award (now used twice in the show - did that give it an advantage?!). A weird and worrying comment from Ryan comes second, with Greg's rant in a close third. Good to see some other contestants getting a look in here with their great lines. This section always prompts some good memories and thoughts on just how quick the contestants can be with their quips sometimes. As Clive said, "Ah, ha ha ... who invited the chicks, indeed..."

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THE DEEP SEA NAZI CAPTAIN'S TWIGLET FOR BEST CREDIT READING

"You big tall goof! Somebody check his Visa! He's here illegally! He told me!". A rant by Colin takes out the award, while a strong second place was won by Tony without a single word! Another memorable classic fast-talking reading brings up 3rd place ("He's a deep sea nazi captain, but he flies... and then Dan Patterson swoops in and kills everybody... it's a happy ending!") followed by physical comedy barely holding 4th.

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THE DRUNKEN SOAP STAR FOR WORST CREDIT READING

Some shockers here, though there are some not nominated that could have been worse! :) I have to agree on this one, they that's the only nominee that, for me, sparks strong memories of failure. Although the sports announcer did take about 2 minutes after the credits to finish...

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THE AUDIENCE-SUGGESTED TWIGLET FOR BEST WHOSE LINE LINE

A close competition here with only 2 votes separating 1st and 2nd places. Surrealism rules again, with sexual innuendo beaten into second place (oo err...).

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THE GREG PROOPS 'BEST PUT-DOWN' TWIGLET

Despite having it named after him, Greg again loses out on the award, though he and Clive both got many votes out of their insult-filled banter. Paul is again represented, but it's Colin with his quick lines in games like Greatest Hits who has jumped forward to win the award this year.

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THE STILL UNTITLED TWIGLET FOR BEST PROP USE

A great quip from Colin takes this one out, with the Colin/Ryan pair dominating. Newcomers Brad and Wayne have some input, but it's Tony Slattery who reminds us of some memorable props moments from the earlier series.

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THE 'HATS' TWIGLET FOR BEST HAIR

Well... Colin has little to fear about baldness because his hair still rates amongst the best! Greg's curls bring him into second, and Tony in 3rd. Josie and Karen represent the female hairdos, while Richard's many and varied styles earned him quite a few votes. However, no such luch for the ponytail, which has the distinction of being the ONLY nominee in the awards not to receive any votes!

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THE 'BIRDS NEST' TWIGLET FOR BEST BEARD

Not much competition here, Mike's "bird's nest" a clear winner, though Jonathan Pryce polled plenty of votes and John Sessions quite a few too. Interesting to note that all these contestants have appeared both with and without a beard on the show - perhaps beards just aren't popular enough! :)

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THE PAUL MERTON 'BEST SMILE' TWIGLET

Well done to Wayne, who's clearly stamped his grin onto this year's awards! :) And Laura Hall, without a word, has smiled her way into second place. This was another area of strong competition and both Tony and Greg showed strong comebacks towards the end of the awards.

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THE IMPROV IMPROVEMENT AWARD FOR MOST IMPROVED CONTESTANT

Well, it seems only fair that this award should go to someone who's been on the show over many years, and recently been brought back to great success. I'm not sure about Wayne, I thought he was great to start with, but it's definitely good to see (given the early reviews) that many feel Drew has improved.

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THE TWIGLETS TWIGLET FOR BEST PARTY QUIRK

Obviously a good start to the US version then :) Very much a selection of physical quirks here, which suggests perhaps that they work best (then again, given the worst quirks selection, that's not unexpected!). Congratulations to Ryan for winning AND gaining a majority of the nominations!

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THE DOORBELL AWARD FOR WORST PARTY QUIRK

Not too surprising here, the winner being John who actually managed to guess his own quirk! Very close 2nd place (3 votes) was Paul's trouble with coming up with 2-syllable words, requiring inventing some of his own ("Hell...lo... ye-es...").

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THE WORLD CRISIS MONITOR AWARD FOR BEST SUPERHERO

Oh... so many chances for Colin (who seems to be the master of great superheroes!) and yet Greg's Impotence Boy managed to come first... (sorry!). The next question would be whether to recognise Ryan, or the audience, who are often the ones who dub Colin or Greg these things! :)

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THE THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE AWARD FOR WORST SUPERHERO

A draw! It seems experience helps, because many of these nominees, including the winners, are one-off or at least rarely seen contestants. Of the regulars, at least Greg's can be attributed to bad audience suggestions! :)

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THE REBECCA ALLEN 'BEST COSTUME' TWIGLET

Greg's suits/jackets was probably a bit too generic for an item of clothing, but he's certainly seen as a snappy dresser! The bird tie chirrups its way into 2nd place, while Tony's Doc Holliday outfit can't be as bad as was thought... or can it? :)

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THE DENISE SIMMONS 'WORST COSTUME' TWIGLET

Josie was sure dressed for pantomime with this one... unfortunately it seems not to have been practical for much else! Some real fashion victims here, though as always, trying bizarre fashions can earn you both high and low marks - some nominees have appeared in both costume categories, and some people have voted for the same one in each! :)

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THE VACANT CHAIR AWARD FOR WORST CONTESTANT

Well, even Drew admits that he's not the best improviser... so it's probably lucky that's not his main job on the show! As host, he's second to none... well, maybe Clive... :) Coming in second is the man who proved that auditioning is important no matter how big the star - somewhat below the 'norm' on this one... followed by fashion victim Debi Durst and the late great Peter Cook, who never quite settled in to the show on his appearance.

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THE FAST FORWARD TWIGLET FOR WORST GAME

Hmmm... an interesting result this one. Moving People has provided some great moments over the years, but it does have a fairly limited life span and recent games haven't been as good as they could. Panel, with only one appearance, was never really a huge success and because of the great set-up time required just didn't fit the show. Then a couple of often uninspiring musical games, and the difficult (and therefore hard to make good) Song Titles.

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THE '1999' TWIGLET FOR WORST SONG

The Space Travel Hoedown is fairly typical (Clive jokes, sexual innuendo etc.) but has the rare distinction of having been screened twice in slightly different versions. Unfortunately it is probably brought down by both versions having George Wendt's failed attempt to 'pull a Colin' with the 'dance break' line. Not too far behind is one of Josie's heavy metal songs (that style having been declared bad in last year's awards), in the only-once-tried variation of restricting her to certain starting and ending lines, which did not encourage a great song. After this comes Julian Clary's "I think it's a boon" gospel work which I found quite entertaining... and then some other generic songs which, while not the best in their leagues, inspire more apathy than awfulness.

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THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR TWIGLET FOR WORST INDIVIDUAL GAME

Early on in the US series begins the new tradition of Drew playing a game with the winner. While I personally wouldn't pick this game as one of the worst in the series, it seems clearly to be an example of how this format hasn't worked (to begin with at least). Competing for 2nd and 3rd are the oft-maligned Panel game which really didn't suit any sort of fast-paced show (though provided at least some good lines from Stephen Fry), and a second example of the end-game. Next come some rather uninspiring games from way back towards the beginning of the show, and then some more recent games that just didn't work.