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Mark's Guide to Whose Line is it Anyway?


Transcripts

Irish Drinking Song

Drew Carey
Slept with an ugly woman
Voted for Ross Perot


The Drew Carey Irish Drinking Song

(Episode 13.01)

All: Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Wayne I've seen him on network TV,
Drew: He's seen him on the streets.
Colin: He's always got a great big smile,
Ryan: He's looking kinda neat,
Wayne: He has short hair and glasses,
Drew: And other things that aren't so short,
Colin: He is very kind,
Ryan: And this I will retort.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Drew: I hear he is a nice guy,
Colin: He dresses really well,
Ryan: The tall guy on his show is funny,
Wayne: And the black guy's really swell,
Drew: But let's not forget his bald friend,
Colin: Because he's really good,
Ryan: Sure he's got lots of money,
Wayne: You'll never catch him in the hood,
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Colin: He's generous to all his friends,
Ryan: He's got lots of cash,
Wayne: And if you go over to his place,
Drew: He'll kick you in the ash,
Colin: He's got a great big TV,
Ryan: He lets you watch it there,
Wayne: And then you can watch the big screen,
Drew: At the Lilith Fair!
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Ryan: His glasses are kind of funny,
Wayne: And people think they're fake.
Drew: Especially these glasses,
Colin: He is quite a rake.
Ryan: Oh but he's a very good guy now,
Wayne: And he has telepathic powers,
Drew: And he can fly through the airplane (oh shoot...)
Colin: He's worn a thong for hours!
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!


The Slept With An Ugly Woman Irish Drinking Song

(Episode 13.06)

All: Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Wayne: Once when I was celebratin',
Brad: I went to bed,
Colin: I had too much to drink,
Ryan: Woke up to an ugly head.
Wayne: She turned over,
Brad: And I saw her face,
Colin: I screamed in surprise,
Ryan: And I sprayed her with mace.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Brad: I jumped round and ran away,
Colin: I put on all my clothes.
Ryan: And then I ran from the house,
Wayne: I hit her I do suppose.
Brad: But she chased right after me,
Colin: She got into her car.
Ryan: She didn't get there,
Wayne: She looked like Jamie Farr.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Colin: Although she was so ugly,
Ryan: I took her anyway.
Wayne: I used her to scare children away,
Brad: What the hey.
Colin: Boy it really worked good,
Ryan: I remember that day,
Wayne: That I took her to the dog park,
Brad: Then... what the hey!
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Ryan: I tried to forget it,
Wayne: I tried to drink a lot.
Brad: Because she was so ugly,
Colin: She needed a name spot.
Ryan: Then that day would come again,
Wayne: That I'd meet her.
Brad: I was so scared,
Colin: It looked like someone had beat her.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!


The Voted For Ross Perot Irish Drinking Song

(Episode 13.04)

All: Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Wayne: Who's the little man,
Greg: With the giant ears,
Colin: I voted for him years ago,
Ryan: He bought me lots of beers.
Wayne: He was a millionaire,
Greg: And he had lots of cash,
Colin: And he used to use it all,
Ryan: He never bought me (bleep).
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Greg: He was a tiny billionaire,
Colin: Tiny as can be.
Ryan: He didn't get a lot of votes,
Wayne: He got me!
Greg: He ran on the reform ticket,
Colin: And he had big feet.
Ryan: But he's still my favourite,
Wayne: He cannot be beat.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Colin: His party was a strange one,
Ryan: I voted anyway.
Wayne: I went and I cast my ballot,
Greg: I laughed along the way.
Colin: He lost by a landslide,
Ryan: But I still support him so,
Wayne: I wonder what he's doing now,
Greg: I heard he lives alone!
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Ryan: I hope he runs again someday,
Wayne: Maybe in a couple years.
Greg: I hope when he runs this time,
Colin: He gets better ears.
Ryan: Again he'll have my vote there,
Wayne: You will see.
Greg: Because there is no-one else,
Colin: Ha ha ha, he he.
All: Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!